Sometimes the hardest person to set a boundary with… is yourself.

Especially if you’re used to being the flexible one. The easygoing one. The one who can roll with it. Most of us don’t override our boundaries on purpose. We do it quietly. Automatically. Because it feels safer, more familiar, or just easier than risking tension.

Many couples come in to my office with a common complaint: one person wants more sex… and the other doesn’t.

When desire starts to feel out of sync feelings of rejection or blame arise. But, no one is broken and it’s almost never about love or attraction fading away. More often, it’s a reflection of what’s happening around and inside the relationship - not what’s missing between you. Desire doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It’s deeply influenced by what’s going on in your life, in your nervous system, and in the space between you.

This one's for the good dads out there. The ones who step up, show up, and redefine what it means to be a father in today’s world. You're the partners who share the mental load, the fathers who know how to care for your kids without missing a beat, and the men who never treat fatherhood like “daddy daycare.” Let’s take a moment to celebrate you and all that you do.

A lot of people think boundaries are what you say to other people. But in many ways it’s actually what you believe about yourself. Because it’s really hard to hold a boundary if you’re not sure you’re allowed to or deserve to have one in the first place.

New parents hear this advice all the time: “You just need to make time for each other. Go on more dates!”

But for most couples in the early parenting years, that’s about as helpful as saying “just sleep more.”

It’s not that dates are bad advice. Date night’s are great. But they aren’t the be all end all of staying connected with your partner. Plus, in many situations, that advice can be impractical, oversimplified, or offered without any understanding of what’s actually going on beneath the surface.

We’re told sex is supposed to peak in our twenties… That it should be wild, spontaneous, full of chemistry, and effortless. That passion fades, desire dwindles, and real intimacy just can’t survive the demands of aging, stress, or long-term relationships. But that’s not true for a lot of people. And it’s not what I hear in my office.

Hearing a boundary from your partner can feel… uncomfortable.

Even if they say it kindly. Even if you know it’s not an attack. Even if you want to be supportive. It’s still easy to feel like you’ve done something wrong… or like they’re pulling away.

But boundaries aren’t a rejection. They’re actually an attempt to stay connected in a way that feels safe, respectful, and real.

It’s not romantic or exciting. But if you want to protect your relationship - protect your sleep.

When you're exhausted, everything feels harder. You’re quicker to snap… slower to understand… less able to stay patient or generous. And so is your partner.

Let’s clear something up: A boundary is not a rule for someone else to follow. It’s not an ultimatum. And it’s not about punishing or changing your partner’s behavior. A real boundary is something you choose to do to protect your own well-being, energy, or values. It’s not dependent on how someone else acts and it’s something you can uphold, even if the other person never changes.

Not everyone feels “in the mood” right away… and that’s completely normal.

There’s this widespread idea that sexual desire should just show up out of nowhere, like flipping on a light switch. But for many people, that’s simply not how it works. And when we don’t talk about that openly, it’s easy to internalize the belief that something in us, or in our relationship, is broken.

But what if I told you that your sex drive doesn’t tell the whole story?

Halloween is right around the corner, and with it comes the annual debate: “Aren’t you a little too old to be trick-or-treating?” But why are we so quick to cut off teenagers from the magic of Halloween? Who decided that there’s an age cutoff for fun? When teens are constantly encouraged to grow up fast, holding onto a little piece of childhood isn’t just OK—it's beneficial, even essential.

As the leaves change and the air turns crisp, many of us feel a sense of excitement about the fall season. Personally, it’s my favorite time of year. However, the beauty of autumn comes with cyclical stressors. Shorter daylight hours, cold and flu season, after-school activities, and prepping for the holidays are just a few examples of stressors that, while normal, can quickly become overwhelming and require mindful management in order to enjoy the season.

One of the most significant hurdles couples face is having mismatched values. When career aspirations, family priorities, financial beliefs, or even spiritual views differ, misunderstandings and conflicts arise that are tough to navigate. Tough, but not hopeless.

One day during a session with my therapist I said, “It’s like I’m a light on a dimmer. I’m not completely dark, but I’m dimmed and it’s hard to see things brightly.” I was a mom to a toddler and infant and was experiencing a profound and relentless disconnection from myself. I loved my family. I loved the life I had created. I was successful, had purpose, and had joy. Yet I was also sad and mourning a version of myself that was no longer allowed to exist. I was, in many ways, a stranger to myself and longed to reclaim my essence - who I was outside of “mom.”

Can a marriage survive without sex? It’s not uncommon for marriages to struggle with intimacy, leaving many wondering if it’s a sign that their marriage is in trouble. So, let's explore the complexities of intimacy and see if a sexless marriage is doomed or salvageable.

Motherhood is a series of changes, each stage bringing its own blend of challenges and joys. Today marks a significant milestone — my youngest child's last day of preschool. It's bittersweet, this transition from the familiar rhythm of early childhood to the new adventures the years ahead will bring.

Summer break is here, and with it comes the pressure for moms to create a season of non-stop fun and exciting memories for their kids. Social media bombards us with the message that "you only get 18 summers," adding to the stress and guilt if we don't make every moment extraordinary. It's like the pressure around the winter holidays, but instead of tree lightings and Santa magic, it's beach trips and summer camps.

This one's for the good dads out there. The ones who step up, show up, and redefine what it means to be a father in today’s world. You're the partners who share the mental load, the fathers who know how to care for your kids without missing a beat, and the men who never treat fatherhood like “daddy daycare.” Let’s take a moment to celebrate you and all that you do.

Can marriage counseling make things worse? It's a question I often get and one that makes a lot of sense. I mean, why do it if it could be bad, right? So let's talk about the potential risks and rewards of diving into therapy for your marriage.